Hopeless Romantic

I would consider myself to be a “hopeless romantic”.  Hopeless in that the “vision” of romance that I hold close to my heart is a fallacy, a dream, an apparation of the truth.  I can create romance but romance does not make nor perpetuate a relationship.  One can love another in absence of romance. I “wish” that romance, my romantic fairy-tale version of love existed but my logic says otherwise.

I think scientifically and I feel romantically and the two attributes are conflicting.  Science is based on facts and romance is based on intangibles.

So more and more I look to the “science” of love to explain whay people do the things they do.  I still keep my “innocent” romantic views tucked away inside, I am not as cold as stone but there is something to be said about looking at the facts over fiction.  If relationships were run more like a business and less like a daycare then at the very least the participants would be better able to see what was “right” and “wrong” with situations within their “business”.

My outwards contribution to the romance of a relationship is done through my “being romantic”.  To me, being romantic is in fact role-playing to the extreme.  We are “acting” to further intensify and promote the “feelings” that biology has provided us.  There is an infatuation and by various means we exaggerate the situation so that the recipient will “see” that we are “in love” with them.  I don’t buy her flowers because there is any specific return for me, it is not like eating. I buy them because I want her to “believe” that I feel love for her.  It is a game…the game of love.  I don’t think of it as a game when I am a participant, it is a seamless part of the relationship at hand, but I feel it is when taken at face value…a game…or at least a dance.

Romantic love

Some are yearning to be in love with someone, to be rescued from their daily lives and swept into romantic bliss.
Some believe that they are not complete unless they find someone that can make their lives whole.
Some are unable to see the subtlety of love because of their own preconceived ideals. If love doesn’t show up wrapped in the packaging we expect, we may fail to recognize it or dismiss it completely.
Courtship is highly connected with romance. The idea is to try and “win” a partner and stir up passion.

More on Romantic Love:
http://www.progressiveu.org/222849-romantic-love

What girls want

• LEAVE HER CUTE TEXT MESSAGES.
• KISS HER IN FR0NT 0F Y0UR FRIENDS.
• TRUST HER 0VER EVERY0NE ELSE.
• TELL HER SHE L00KS BEAUTIFUL.
• L00K HER IN THE EYE WHEN Y0U TALK T0 HER.
• TELL HER STUPID J0KES T0 MAKE HER LAUGH.
• LET HER MESS WITH Y0UR HAIR.
• MESS WITH HER HAIR.
• JUST WALK AR0UND WITH HER.
• INCLUDE HER IN ALL THINGS Y0U D0.
• WHEN SHE CRYS D0 WHATEVER IT TAKES T0 MAKE HER SMIlE.
• F0RGIVE HER F0R HER MISTAKES.
• L00K AT HER LIKES SHE’S THE 0NLY GIRL Y0U SEE.
• TICKLE HER EVEN WHEN SHE SAYS ST0P.
• H0LD HER HAND EVEN WHEN Y0U ARE AROUND Y0UR FRIENDS.
• WHEN SHE STARTS SWEARING AT Y0U TELL HER Y0U L0VE HER.
• LET HER FALL ASLEEP IN Y0UR ARMS.
• GET HER MAD, THEN KISS HER.
• TEASE HER & LET HER TEASE Y0U BACK.
• STAY UP WITH HER ALL NIGHT WHEN SHES SICK.
• WATCH HER FAV0RITE M0VIE WITH HER
• KISS HER F0REHEAD.
• GIVE HER THE W0RLD.
• WRITE HER LETTERS.
• LET HER WEAR Y0UR CL0THES.
• WHEN SHES SAD, HANG 0UT WITH HER.
• LET HER KN0W SHE’S IMP0RTANT.
• LET HER TAKE ALL THE PH0T0S 0F Y0U SHE WANTS.
• KISS HER IN THE RAIN.
• CALL HER EVERY NIGHT.
• AND WHEN Y0U FALL IN L0VE WITH HER, TELL HER.
• AND WHEN Y0U D0 TELL HER. L0VE HER LIKE Y0U NEVER L0VED BEF0RE.

Looking in the same direction

There are many different kinds of love, all having the same basis but with varying degrees in what it means to the person that is experiencing that feeling.
I love my Parents, I love my children, I love my friends, I love God.

I feel infatuation is an immature form of love. It is the spark that gets things going.
I see you. I want to connect with you. I dream of you. I want to see you more. I want to touch you.
We can be infatuated with almost anything or anyone that catches our attention. I believe that one can be infatuated with more than one person at a time as well. Typically infatuation is fleeting. As soon as something “better” catches our eye, we lose interest in the first, something more interesting has come along.

Sexual attraction is lust. The feeling of wanting to connect with another is imprinted within us for the sake of procreation. We can be sexual with anyone as it is simply a physical activity. There is nothing to it in that respect unless you want to believe that there is more. I do want to believe by the way.

What I want to feel, to be surrounded with, more than anything is a romantic love. This is to me a combination of ongoing infatuation, sexual attraction and love for one person AND I great desire to make them know that I feel that way.
Not because there are not other things that might catch my eye, but they would have no meaning to me. There would be no need to think twice because there would be no emptiness within that could be temporarily satisfied by such infatuation.
Sexual attraction to one person because making love with them was in fact that, making love. A celebration of the warmth that that person creates within. An intimate connection of the body and heart together, not one without the other.
In a relationship of romantic love, the kind of connection I desire so much and insist on, both people in the relationship try to “give” as much or more than they get.
The words, “I deserve more”, I don’t think this is fair” and “I am owed” are not part of this relationship.
I think that if one strives to make the other person as happy as we can, without trying to change them, their happiness adds to ours. It is a continuous circle. In the right circumstance – everything that you give – you get. Both persons feel complete and IN Love. This scenario is not about becoming the other, so entrenched in a place within that you feel you cannot breathe without the other, more so a harmony, a dynamic between togetherness and individuality. Having independent interests that can be shared as well as mutual interests, the combination allowing for growth not stagnancy. We come to know ourselves in a different way when we are in love and regardless of the outcome we are forever changed.
“Looking in the same direction as opposed to only staring into one another’s eyes” is something I heard once that sums this up.