Was it good for you too?

A woman once said to me that she would rather have no sex than bad sex.  I stated that I didn’t think a man would make that same comment in that most men would be happy with any sex.  I got to wondering how different people determine what “great” sex is to them. There is an ongoing “great” sex life and there is specifics of any given physical encounter that may or may not make this encounter “great”.

In an ongoing relationship where the participants state their “sex life” is great, what is “it” they feel that makes it great?

The level of emotional connection
The fact that the relationship on a whole is great
A high level of intimacy
Creativity
Mutual trust and respect
Passion for one another
Mutual sexual attraction
Understanding the other’s wants and needs
Lack of inhibition
High level of communication

In one specific sexual encounter where the participants thought that the sex was great, what made it great?

Creativity
Spontaneity
Out of the ordinary
Foreplay
Technique
Locale
Intensity of the Orgasm
Passion
High Sexual Attraction
No holds barred
Equal desire and effort
Lack of inhibitions
Anatomically matched

What makes for great sex for you?

Common sexual myths

1. Masturbation causes hairy palms, insomnia, impotency, lack of concentration, and blindness.
   Sorry. Masturbation is perfectly normal and doesn’t cause any of these problems.
2. The bigger the penis, the better.
   The average penis is about 6 inches long. And, the first 2 inches of the vagina is the most sensitive. So you don’t need a huge penis to satisfy a woman.
3. You can’t get pregnant your first time.
   You CAN get pregnant your first time. In fact, many girls do get pregnant their first time.
4. Sex during a woman’s period is harmful.
   A woman’s period is a normal bodily function. No physical problems occur from having sex during this time.
5. You can’t get pregnant during your period.
   Wrong again. Although it is less likely, it is possible.
6. I’m in a committed relationship and I have never cheated on my partner, therefore I can never get an STI.
   Sorry. Many people don’t show any signs of STI’s like Chlamydia or Gonnorrhea, so you and/or your partner may already have one. As well, the HIV virus can be spread through intravenous drug use, injections with infected needles, surgery, tattooing, and even shaving.

Taken from and to read more follow:
http://www.ppae.ab.ca/index.php?m=3&s=1

Safe Sex

Think that everyone around you is practicing safe sex? Think again.

This is not a post about practising safe sex, we all should be aware by now of the dangers of not using protection.  I would like to know why supposedly mature adults, 51% by one survey do not practice safe sex.

There are reasons why people specifically do not like to use condoms.  Some of them are:

I don’t want to hurt his/her feelings.
By using protection it might “look” like I have some disease or I feel that he/she might have one.  It is embrassing, seems like I am treating them as guilty without a trial.

It Doesn’t Feel As Good
Condoms definitely get a bad rap. Common complaints are that they interrupt the mood, are less intimate and just don’t feel as good.

I Don’t Believe in Casual Sex, So I Don’t Need to Get Condoms
Many people aren’t into casual sex. However, despite their personal and moral beliefs, these same people sometimes find themselves having sex they hadn’t planned on —- often without protection.Why is this? There are a few reasons.
How we feel about having sex can play a part. Studies have found that people who feel guilty about having sex are among those least likely to use condoms! Some people can only justify sex that happens in the heat of the moment and feel that any kind of preparation would make it seem like they had planned the event.

What It Comes Down To
In my personal experience, I too have not used common sense in the heat of the moment. There was no particular reason not to…I just didn’t.  There was never any question or resistance from her side either…it didn’t come up at all. When I have asked this question of a lover the response I got was:

1. I was not a one night stand. If they picked a guy up in the bar they would insist that he use protection.
2. I seemed like a nice guy and they believed the sexual partion of our relationship was part of the bigger picture.  In other words that our dating would lead to a more long term relationship.  In still other words, because our relationship was not casual, there was less need for practising safe sex.
3. They had no other sexual experience other than their ex husband of 12 years.  Because they had not had multiple partners and they were “safe” there should be no worry.

Some people get a thrill out of taking a chance. Others simply feel that unprotected sex is pleasurable enough to be worth the possible consequences.  To be honest I have no specific “excuse” if you will other than I was not planning on the initial sexual encounter happening when it did.  I was not prepared and I guess I should have said no but I didn’t.  Like being offered a Filet Mignon and not having a fork…Who cares! I can eat with my hands can’t I?

Here are some pretty intense facts:
The American Social Health Association estimates that there are at least 15 million new cases of STDs every year.
Half of the new HIV infections in the U.S occur in people between the ages of 13–24.
According to the 2005 Durex Sex Survey, 51% of American adults have had unprotected sex without knowing their partner’s sexual history! Read more from the survey:

Unprotected sex

• Almost half (47%) of all adults globally have had unprotected sex without knowing their partner’s sexual history
• Women are less likely to take risks than men – 45% have had unprotected sex, compared to 48% of men
• Almost two thirds (65%) of 45-55 year olds have risked unprotected sex, compared to a third (33%) of 16-20 year olds
• The Norwegians (73%), Greeks (70%) and Swedes (66%) are the least likely to have taken precautions
• The lowest risk takers are people in India (21%), Hong Kong (24%) and Spain (27%)

Hmmm…

Q: Does size matter? Why or why not?

He Says:
I have to admit that I have never been asked the question however I have discussed the subject with many women.  The general concensus was yes, size does matter, but not in the typical way that men think.

When the question is asked, does size matter?; a man typically rephrases the sentence to read “Does having a larger than average penis matter to the woman that you are making love to; will your love making be less satisfying for her if your penis is merely average?”

So, yes in my conversations it was generally agreed upon that size matters in that too small or too large could pose specific logistical problems BUT if the lovemaking were part of an ongoing relationship, penis size was an insignificant attribute.

One woman said that she would prefer a man to be “well-endowed” and anything less was unacceptable to her.  We as people do have specific preferences and I would say if I were looking for “perfection” then the woman I envision would have everything in exactly the proportions I “envision” as “perfect”.  I had a friend once that was crazy about large breasts.  He claimed he could not be sexually satisfied by a woman with small breasts, yet I find that large breasts have a negative effect on my arousal…to each their own.

I found that most women that had the opportunity to experience a number of partners and their penises typically “enjoyed” the physical comfort of an average penis.  Those that were “smallish” especially in girth or diameter were more difficult to feel.  Those that were overly large tended to cause some physical discomfort in certain positions.  “Bottoming-out” or hard bumping into the cervix were not pleasurable according to the women.

In my personal experience I have never had anyone complain directly to me in regards to “size”.  I have had some experienced lovers and in discussion not one had ever mentioned that a previous lover was “too small”. Inversly, more than one stated they had experienced penises that were too large for comfort. Keep in mind that I am specifically talking about size here and not technique.

The point is that while women tend to fret over their weight, men fret over their penis size.  I spend many years, especially when younger literally worrying about my size.  Scientifically and logically it makes sense that “size” doesn’t matter providing it is not falling into one of the extremes.  Psychologically, it is a different story.

Does size matter?  Yes, to a certain extent.  Does my size matter to me? No.

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